Empaths are Targets

Psychopath Resistance

Empath Targets

Empathic people are natural targets
Often empaths are targeted by sociopaths because they pose the greatest threat. The empath is usually the first to detect that something is not right and express what s/he senses. As a consequence…

The Dance – Sociopath and Empath
They LOVE to watch their empath target squirm. They LOVE to watch as they manipulate everyone around them into believing it’s all the fault of the empath. They LOVE the feeling of absolute CONTROL…

Narcissists and Empaths: The Ego Dynamic | Let Me Reach
One popular theory is that Narcissists prey on Empaths and Sensitives because of their overly giving nature. While that is primarily true, there is another reason that goes even deeper, and it has to do with ego…

The Transitional Target | Narcissist, Sociopath, and Psychopath…
Targets often experience cognitive dissonance, trying to project their own reasoning onto an unreasonable person. But their…

View original post 65 more words

Introducing … me! (and my depression)

Although it has only been a few months since my depression was officially diagnosed, it is so liberating to finally acknowledge it. This post is a bit more about that part of my story.

The black hole of depression

Image courtesy of Victor Habbick / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have been suffering from depression for over ten years, starting in my adolescence. I didn’t seek professional help until after my failed suicide attempt at the age of 25. At first I was in denial about my depression, telling myself that everything would be better when I left school, or got my first job, or came out as gay. Then I immersed myself in various projects, causes and hobbies, in a bid to distract myself or fill the void that depression had gradually dug within me.

I did not believe that a psychologist would be able to say something that would suddenly make me feel better, so I tried to fix it myself. I thought depression was something I should just “snap out of”. That it was an excuse neurotic housewives made up to talk about their “problems”. I used to feel guilty about it, that I was weak or self-centred or a bad Christian for having depression. I used to feel so alone, that nobody else would understand, because no one else gave any hint that they might feel it too.

My depression was finally diagnosed in London while I was in hospital there, recovering from my suicide attempt. I have since moved back to Cape Town and have been seeing a psychiatrist for regularly therapy. Now I know that depression is a treatable illness and that there are effective coping methods for it.

Hope and Despair buttons

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In the first two weeks after my suicide attempt became public knowledge, I received five different emails from people in my network saying that they had been in therapy for years to treat their depression. Some of these people I counted among my closest friends and yet we had never opened up to each other about this side of our lives. We need to stop making depression a taboo subject, something to be ashamed of. When we speak about depression, we should stop using terms like “confessing” or “admitting” to depression. We must educate adolescents about depression and prepare our youth to recognise the symptoms and have the confidence to seek treatment. They need to know that they are not alone and where they can go to for help.

Depression is an illness, not an identity; something you have, not something you are.

Introducing … me! (and my sexuality)

One cause of the depression that led to my failed suicide attempt was my homosexuality. I was bullied at school for being gay and I fought an internal battle for years because my same-sex attractions and my religious values were in conflict. I used to pray that God would “fix” me and make me straight, but the more I prayed the more it seemed that my sexual orientation was an inherent part of me.

I came out after many years of internal conflict, because I finally realised that my sexuality was never going to change and that I could not live a life of honesty and integrity if I could not accept myself for who I am. Many of the most talented, caring and brave people I have ever met are gay and I am proud to call them my friends.

LGBT Pride Flag

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Today I no longer believe that God is going to be angry with me because I love the “wrong” person; He is far more concerned about my relationship with Him. Love remains the most important commandment and, in the eloquent words of Rob Bell, “love wins“.

It is still important for me to identify myself as both gay and Christian, because I don’t believe the two are mutually exclusive. I know that many LGBT people have been hurt and abused by the Christian community, but there are also many Christians who have been treated unjustly by gay people. Tolerance and respect goes both ways. The world would be a much better place if we all stood together to eliminate discrimination, violence and poverty.

Even though I am now open and honest about my sexuality, I am sometimes aware of how my behaviour and personal presentation are governed by the mistaken stereotypes and prejudices my bullies held. Sometimes I find myself reigning in my mannerisms and the pitch of my voice in order to not appear too “camp”, as if that is a bad thing, which it of course is not. I believe that every person should feel free to be wholly themselves and I hope that we are preparing the world for future generations to have that freedom, but I am afraid I often still care too much what other people think of me. Like the world, I am a work in progress.